Seven Summers of Stalking: The #1 Crime Against Women

ARE YOU A VICTIM OF A STALKER?

Stalking Defined

Does someone repeatedly –

1. Call you with unwanted phone calls
2. Send you unsolicited or unwanted letters or e-mails
3. Follow or spy on you
4. Show up at places where you are without a legitimate reason
5. Wait for you at places where you will be
6. Leave unwanted items, presents, or flowers
7. Post information or spread rumors about you on the internet, in a public place, or by word of mouth
8. Threaten to kill, or does kill, your pet

Do these actions cause you a great deal of fear?

This is the definition of stalking by the Department of Justice.

You are being stalked if you can answer yes to two or more of these and say they happen on a repeated and regular basis.

You are most definitely not alone!

This is a crime that goes unnoticed until someone gets seriously hurt, if even then. The victim tells family, friends, and law enforcement there is a stalker in their midst, but the pleas are ignored. A stalker can appear in your life at any time, either over the internet or physically, or both, and like 7.5 million Americans who report stalking every year, your life will be turned upside down.

the story behind the book

“It is impossible to describe the taste of blowfish
to one who has never eaten it.”

This saying certainly applies to the feeling when stalked. “It is impossible to describe the feeling of stalking to one who has never experienced it.”

blowfish

In Seven Summers of Stalking: The #1 crime against women, my goal is to describe to the reader the personal and financial devastation that comes as a result of being stalked, what a stalker looks like, and what we, as a society can do about it.

This is not your regular horror story of an intimate or partner stalker. My stalkers are professional, they obviously have stalked before, and there is nothing “intimate” about them. Yes, there is more than one. They couldn’t have pulled it off otherwise!

Stalkers are grown-up bullies that have their act figured out to perfection.

The lead stalker was elected to an insignificant political position in my small backwoods rural community. This made him think he was a big fish and had a free pass to act above the law. The story, in a nutshell, consists of a road that had been public for one-hundred years, and he decided to take it for himself.

Instead of going through the proper process, knowing the only way he could get that road was to scam it, this is what he did. He had enough people in high places that helped him “acquire” his road, including a judge.

Unfortunately, the road lies between him and me – in more ways than just physical. Of course, as any good citizen would do, I protested his stealing of the road, and the fight was on. It was time to purge the world of me, and short of murder, that is exactly what he set out to do.

It is amazing how someone can lie to the cops, repeatedly file false reports, take their lying witnesses to the judge, and people believe them. Gossip and lies about someone spread like wildfire – and in a small town it takes about an hour for everyone to know.

He used me as a coverup for his collusion. Smoke and mirrors. “Mind your own business or I’m calling the cops!” I mind my own business and he calls the cops, anyway! He has himself convinced I sit in my house day after day plotting ways to ruin him.

In this dog-eat-dog world, the biggest dog gets the bone, and that is exactly what he did.

I would tell the judge these people were stalking me and setting me up, that if he would tell them to leave me alone I would not keep showing up in his courtroom, but I found out the hard way.

Justice is blind.

blind justice

And maybe deaf, too, because the judge sure did not hear me when I spoke.

Well, my stalkers loved it. They had a judge that encouraged them to continue with their lies and collusion.

A sociopath is someone who is charismatic, everyone likes him, you wouldn’t think he would be up to the things he does. But he hides his misdeeds through his charms. And people believe him.

The majority of stalkers, though are male intimate partners. Woman can be just as vindictive and mean, but here we talk about men, because of the seriousness and danger of their stalking

The most dangerous time for a woman is immediately after she leaves. She walked out on him because he was horribly abusive, and now he turns up the heat even more. She thought it was bad before, well look at him now!

Domestic violence affects the entire family. Not just the mom and kids, but the extended family, and close friends. The happiness in holidays can quickly turn to drama, depending on whether every one is in a good mood or not. Life is running along smoothly, and from seemingly out of the blue, tempers flare.

The relationship is over in her mind, but he still hangs on. He will do whatever it takes to save face – to not look bad in front of his friends and family. But unknown to him, his explosive temper has been a concern for everyone for some time, and he would do better to calm down and let her go. But no, he becomes even more abusive and makes her life a living hell.

an excerpt from the book

The Impact on the Family

When a child dies before the parents die, the parents suffer greatly. The second greatest suffering is watching your daughter live in an abusive relationship and that is all you can do – watch.

Whatever you do makes the situation worse, and one day you realize everyone is better off if you step away as far as you can. One hand on the phone, ready to call the police, the other hand pulling in the children to give them comfort – once again.

Watching and waiting is agonizing. The mother waits for two things: “Mom, come get me.” “Mom, he hurt me.” The mother is worried. He is mean and out of control. Her daughter and the children are in danger. She is afraid that the final call will not be from her daughter, but from the police, bringing the news her daughter is dead.

One day, hopefully before the “he-hurt-me” call, the daughter will call for help to get out – for the last time. She has made her resolution, she cannot tolerate the abuse any longer. The mother sighs with relief and does everything she can to help her daughter get back on her feet; tenuously waiting for her to change her mind and go back – once again.

This cycle continues until one day the daughter decides it is over. Or is it? She decides to leave, but her man is still hanging around, and the contacts create fear. It is time to end this, but he cannot let go.

After the divorce and the drama are ended, the woman wonders what took her so long. Why did she not get out years ago? How could she be so blind to fall for such a man in the first place? She swears she is done with men.

Children are in the middle of this violence, torn between their parents, trying to decide who is right and who is wrong, lost between two adults who are shattering their lives. If their mother moves away from the stalker, this also has repercussions on them; leaving home, school and friends, and starting a new life elsewhere – often repeatedly moving to avoid the stalker that follows them.

Psychological angst produces stress in a dose-response manner. The higher the dose, the more intense the response. Stalking is a crime that covers years of worry and anxiety. Victims of stalkers have elevated levels of mental distress. Three-quarters of the women who have an intimate relationship with their stalker meet the criteria for PTSD.

Socioeconomic factors contribute to family violence. Poverty fosters incarceration. Or is poverty a result of incarceration? This is a chicken-and-egg conundrum. Children do not learn strong social skills in an impoverished environment, whether economically or emotionally. Lack of social skills often leads to incarceration. And so the cycle continues…

stop stalking